From The Archives: The Devastating Reverend Tom interview (aka Kool Keith)
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I recently found a whole heap of interviews I did years ago and a few of them are great, so I've decided to post some of the more interesting ones (in this case, more ridiculous). This was originally published in 3D World in October, 2003.
This is easily the most ridiculous interview I ever did, Mike Ladd came a close second.
Also, the youtube video at the bottom is a must see for any Kool Keith fan. Metaphorical insights.
I never did receive the CD from the record company but from the tracks I have heard from Kool Keith Presents Thee undatakerz, it's possibly the worst stuff Keith has done. But don't let that stop you reading the interview.
How many people can say Kool Keith made a joke about their anus?
Kool Keith (AKA Keith Murray) is a hip hop legend with as many personalities as Roseanne Barr; from Dr Octagon through to Black Elvis, and a plethora of bizarre characters in between. One of his personalities is The Devastating Reverend Tom. Reverend Tom and Thee Undatakerz is Keith’s new project. But, as anyone who knows his work, it’s not that simple.
To promote the album, interviewers were only allowed to talk to Reverend Tom who, along with Thee Undatakerz, digs up the Earth's buried and sells their body parts to other planets and galaxies. The task wasn’t made any easier by the fact I had not heard the album, but here’s a taste of what Reverend Tom had to say.
“I’m sure you have a few questions you would like to ask with regards to my trip here to Earth and what you can all learn,” begins the conversation.
What do you think we need to learn?
Well, I don’t know my son. It seems like sometimes people don’t understand, when you die there is no one there to take care of you when you’re gone. Everyone needs a reverend to say a few things over the body when you die. Who would you think would be the one to do that?
It would be the Reverend Tom.
That’s right. You’re friendly neighbourhood clergyman. But I’d love nothing more than to answer some more of your questions. How may we begin my son?
Why has Reverend Tom used hip hop to send his message?
When I came back here in 1964 it was a long time before I understood that you guys were going through a few things in the ‘60s that didn’t pan out; you had the Vietnam war, and that was a good pick up for us, we did a lot of burials, and that was pretty cool. Though we did take some of the bodies back to our galaxy where you know, after we saved the eulogy for the families here, we had nothing better to do than to not bury your bodies here on Earth. We had to take them abroad because we had high bidders that were interested in your body parts.
Interested in using them for what?
I don’t know if you know my son but we’re a mortuary band. Basically we’re here right now in what you call ‘human form’, something that only you can see. If you were a different kind of individual that wasn’t from this planet you would truly know our true form. But I know to you, you are saying ‘what am I talking about’. Well, let me express this to you: if you die today, I’d be there to take your body and, don’t you know within a galaxy I have very high bidders that are willing to pay a pretty penny for your eyes, your penis and your ass. It’s not a problem because, you don’t seem to understand, here on Earth people in other galaxies use you guys as a delicacy. You guys have no clue. When we come here to perform as a band, you get the music side of us but if you should die during one of our concerts there won’t be an ambulance person to take you away.
It started out with trouble in the ‘60s, are today’s trouble also providing you with a few bodies?
There's a few bodies; there's bodies that we’re picking up in Afghanistan and in Saudi Arabia, there’s a lot of things going on over there. The highest thing we have gong on right now is in the Andromeda galaxy and we have someone in that galaxy trying to get Saddam Hussein’s body parts. He looks at him as a real special treat for his planet. And we can not provide that service at this time. We’ll even try to come up with a way to get him. If you get him, we will take the body from the armies. We take care of all the armies' dead bodies that they’ve buried. I’ve been to the mortuary where they’ve been buried. We pick them up three days later and ship them out on a grey transport ship.
After all, you have heard ‘Dark Space’, have you not? When you hear this album it will blow your mind. Keep in mind, we’re a gothic, mortuary, theatrical rock band. We’re ageless, we’re timeless. Of course, the funeral director is a friend of mine. We met in the Andromeda galaxy thousands of years ago and each member of the band was introduced to me by him. But we’re partners in everything we do because you can’t have a funeral without what? A reverend and a funeral director, correct? You can’t have no one unless you have someone to embalm you… and you’ve gotta have someone to bury you, right? So we have all these things that we can provide. And in the music industry there are musicians dying every day and guess who takes care of them? Do you think Kurt Cobain is till buried where he’s at? I don’t think so. Most of the people that have died on this planet left this planet the day that they died; there wasn’t really a funeral. The funeral we gave was not what you thought you saw because we put y’all in a trance state at the funeral, it was not really taking place at that time when you saw that body laying in that casket, it wasn’t what you saw. When I read the eulogy, no one seemed to understand, the bodies were what we wanted you to see.
So you must keep in mind my son, that if you think Janis Joplin is coming back, ha! She’s not coming back on this planet. John Lennon, well, he’s a favourite of ours, we keep his head in a glass and he talks to us every week… At least once a week. We don’t allow him to talk to Yoko Ono, but he’d like to, but we won’t allow him to. There’s a lot of you’re great celebrities that are dead. I’ll tell you this, the funeral director only plays his set of only dead people who have passed on. This is the only music he plays. Because we want to let you know they’re gone, but we have not forgotten.
What does John Lennon have to say?
That he wished the band was back together and that he wished he never married Yoko ono. Every time we mention her name he goes ‘Yoko Ono, oh no no.’ And we go, ok, and then we leave the ship. [At this point he laughs; I think even Keith was surprised at his own absurdity]
Are there any celebrities no one is interested in?
Right now I would have to say, and I’d really hate to say Barry White, we’re not into love, we’re not into hate either, we just don’t like fat people who sing. I really don’t know what more to tell you my friend.
Who else is involved in Thee Undatakerz?
There’s Deakin H, Reverend Rex and a guy you know as Ice T, he’s reverend T. There’s a lot of your people here on Earth that are not who they appear to be, and do not ask me who they are because I can not say. I’ll give you a little note though, Martha Stewart is one of us.
Where do you make the money?
We don’t do it for money, we do it for peace of the galaxy. If we didn’t do these things for your planet, your planet would have been destroyed a long time ago.
Why do you think your government wants you to pay them so much money in order to dig a body up just to move it? Or to do an autopsy you have to get a court order, that you’ll never get? The bodies that look like they’re decomposed, they’re dead animals, dead monkeys.
How does this help peace, what happens if the bodies aren’t taken away?
The bodies are always taken away. I will tell you this: you know when your homeless people die, have you ever wondered where they go?
Maybe.
To a homeless planet where we bury them specially. They’re looked upon as the most special people here on Earth. Deprived of things they were to have in order to live on this Earth. But I can not begin to tell you… It’s the living that bother me, not the dead.
Just on Earth?
No, this is many different galaxies on many different planets. There used to be a population on Mars many thousands of years ago. Our planet and their planet was at war. Basically this was 28 BC, and their planet lost. Do you know the face that you see on your so called Sidonia? That is the funeral director leaving his mark. He’s on every planet. Soon you will see one on Uranus.
This is easily the most ridiculous interview I ever did, Mike Ladd came a close second.
Also, the youtube video at the bottom is a must see for any Kool Keith fan. Metaphorical insights.
I never did receive the CD from the record company but from the tracks I have heard from Kool Keith Presents Thee undatakerz, it's possibly the worst stuff Keith has done. But don't let that stop you reading the interview.
How many people can say Kool Keith made a joke about their anus?
 |
| The Devastating Reverend Tom |
Kool Keith (AKA Keith Murray) is a hip hop legend with as many personalities as Roseanne Barr; from Dr Octagon through to Black Elvis, and a plethora of bizarre characters in between. One of his personalities is The Devastating Reverend Tom. Reverend Tom and Thee Undatakerz is Keith’s new project. But, as anyone who knows his work, it’s not that simple.
To promote the album, interviewers were only allowed to talk to Reverend Tom who, along with Thee Undatakerz, digs up the Earth's buried and sells their body parts to other planets and galaxies. The task wasn’t made any easier by the fact I had not heard the album, but here’s a taste of what Reverend Tom had to say.
“I’m sure you have a few questions you would like to ask with regards to my trip here to Earth and what you can all learn,” begins the conversation.
What do you think we need to learn?
Well, I don’t know my son. It seems like sometimes people don’t understand, when you die there is no one there to take care of you when you’re gone. Everyone needs a reverend to say a few things over the body when you die. Who would you think would be the one to do that?
It would be the Reverend Tom.
That’s right. You’re friendly neighbourhood clergyman. But I’d love nothing more than to answer some more of your questions. How may we begin my son?
Why has Reverend Tom used hip hop to send his message?
When I came back here in 1964 it was a long time before I understood that you guys were going through a few things in the ‘60s that didn’t pan out; you had the Vietnam war, and that was a good pick up for us, we did a lot of burials, and that was pretty cool. Though we did take some of the bodies back to our galaxy where you know, after we saved the eulogy for the families here, we had nothing better to do than to not bury your bodies here on Earth. We had to take them abroad because we had high bidders that were interested in your body parts.
Interested in using them for what?
I don’t know if you know my son but we’re a mortuary band. Basically we’re here right now in what you call ‘human form’, something that only you can see. If you were a different kind of individual that wasn’t from this planet you would truly know our true form. But I know to you, you are saying ‘what am I talking about’. Well, let me express this to you: if you die today, I’d be there to take your body and, don’t you know within a galaxy I have very high bidders that are willing to pay a pretty penny for your eyes, your penis and your ass. It’s not a problem because, you don’t seem to understand, here on Earth people in other galaxies use you guys as a delicacy. You guys have no clue. When we come here to perform as a band, you get the music side of us but if you should die during one of our concerts there won’t be an ambulance person to take you away.
It started out with trouble in the ‘60s, are today’s trouble also providing you with a few bodies?
There's a few bodies; there's bodies that we’re picking up in Afghanistan and in Saudi Arabia, there’s a lot of things going on over there. The highest thing we have gong on right now is in the Andromeda galaxy and we have someone in that galaxy trying to get Saddam Hussein’s body parts. He looks at him as a real special treat for his planet. And we can not provide that service at this time. We’ll even try to come up with a way to get him. If you get him, we will take the body from the armies. We take care of all the armies' dead bodies that they’ve buried. I’ve been to the mortuary where they’ve been buried. We pick them up three days later and ship them out on a grey transport ship.
After all, you have heard ‘Dark Space’, have you not? When you hear this album it will blow your mind. Keep in mind, we’re a gothic, mortuary, theatrical rock band. We’re ageless, we’re timeless. Of course, the funeral director is a friend of mine. We met in the Andromeda galaxy thousands of years ago and each member of the band was introduced to me by him. But we’re partners in everything we do because you can’t have a funeral without what? A reverend and a funeral director, correct? You can’t have no one unless you have someone to embalm you… and you’ve gotta have someone to bury you, right? So we have all these things that we can provide. And in the music industry there are musicians dying every day and guess who takes care of them? Do you think Kurt Cobain is till buried where he’s at? I don’t think so. Most of the people that have died on this planet left this planet the day that they died; there wasn’t really a funeral. The funeral we gave was not what you thought you saw because we put y’all in a trance state at the funeral, it was not really taking place at that time when you saw that body laying in that casket, it wasn’t what you saw. When I read the eulogy, no one seemed to understand, the bodies were what we wanted you to see.
So you must keep in mind my son, that if you think Janis Joplin is coming back, ha! She’s not coming back on this planet. John Lennon, well, he’s a favourite of ours, we keep his head in a glass and he talks to us every week… At least once a week. We don’t allow him to talk to Yoko Ono, but he’d like to, but we won’t allow him to. There’s a lot of you’re great celebrities that are dead. I’ll tell you this, the funeral director only plays his set of only dead people who have passed on. This is the only music he plays. Because we want to let you know they’re gone, but we have not forgotten.
What does John Lennon have to say?
That he wished the band was back together and that he wished he never married Yoko ono. Every time we mention her name he goes ‘Yoko Ono, oh no no.’ And we go, ok, and then we leave the ship. [At this point he laughs; I think even Keith was surprised at his own absurdity]
Are there any celebrities no one is interested in?
Right now I would have to say, and I’d really hate to say Barry White, we’re not into love, we’re not into hate either, we just don’t like fat people who sing. I really don’t know what more to tell you my friend.
Who else is involved in Thee Undatakerz?
There’s Deakin H, Reverend Rex and a guy you know as Ice T, he’s reverend T. There’s a lot of your people here on Earth that are not who they appear to be, and do not ask me who they are because I can not say. I’ll give you a little note though, Martha Stewart is one of us.
Where do you make the money?
We don’t do it for money, we do it for peace of the galaxy. If we didn’t do these things for your planet, your planet would have been destroyed a long time ago.
Why do you think your government wants you to pay them so much money in order to dig a body up just to move it? Or to do an autopsy you have to get a court order, that you’ll never get? The bodies that look like they’re decomposed, they’re dead animals, dead monkeys.
How does this help peace, what happens if the bodies aren’t taken away?
The bodies are always taken away. I will tell you this: you know when your homeless people die, have you ever wondered where they go?
Maybe.
To a homeless planet where we bury them specially. They’re looked upon as the most special people here on Earth. Deprived of things they were to have in order to live on this Earth. But I can not begin to tell you… It’s the living that bother me, not the dead.
Just on Earth?
No, this is many different galaxies on many different planets. There used to be a population on Mars many thousands of years ago. Our planet and their planet was at war. Basically this was 28 BC, and their planet lost. Do you know the face that you see on your so called Sidonia? That is the funeral director leaving his mark. He’s on every planet. Soon you will see one on Uranus.